Marathon Des Sables finisher Luke Tyburski: ‘The toughest step I ever took was backwards’

Luke Tyburski was a professional footballer before injury ended the career he had spent years chasing. What followed was a 10-year battle with depression that twice left him standing on a bridge, not wanting to live anymore.

He stepped back both times.

That decision became the start of a different kind of fight. Luke later moved into ultra-endurance sport, completing the Marathon des Sables, the brutal desert race across the Sahara, as well as The Ultimate Triathlon and The 500 Man Triathlon.

His Champions Speakers profile also lists him as a former professional footballer and the subject of two award-winning films.

Now an adventure & exploration speaker, Luke talks about discomfort, motivation and mental health with the authority of someone who has lived the consequences of silence. His message is not built around empty positivity.

It comes from depression, recovery, extreme endurance and the people who helped him step back when life felt impossible.

In this exclusive interview with the Inspirational Leadership Speakers Agency, Luke discusses the darkest moments of his depression, why pushing beyond your comfort zone can reveal what you are capable of, and why speaking up is often the first serious step towards rebuilding your life.

Q1. You’ve faced extreme personal challenges away from the public image of adventure and achievement. Was there ever a moment when you wanted to give up, and what helped you step back from it?

Luke Tyburski: “There have been times over the years where I've been flat with motivation, or where it's been tough to get myself moving.

“But I want to give you an idea of the one time in my life that I acknowledge and recognise where I've been the most mentally tough and internally motivated to do something.

“It was within my 10-year dark battle with depression.

“Twice, I found myself standing on top of a bridge, not wanting to live anymore.

“This was a pretty dark time in my life, as you can imagine.

“Both times, I talked myself out of taking that step.

“With a lot of therapy, self-reflection, conversations with professionals, friends and family, I can now acknowledge that these moments were the times when I was the most mentally tough I've ever been, and motivated to do something. That was to take a step back rather than a step forward.

“The takeaway from this story is really simple.

“What went through my mind both of those times was that I didn't want to put my family in the pain I knew they would feel if I took that step off the bridge.

“What motivated me to take a step back and use my internal mental strength and mental toughness was knowing that I'm not alone. I have family, friends, loved ones and people who I can connect with.

“That's what motivated me to take that step back, and that's what motivates me every day: connection to others.”

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Q2. Adventure often means choosing discomfort before you feel ready. Why do you believe stepping outside your comfort zone is so important for personal growth?

Luke Tyburski: “Goal setting is really simple. We know the concept works.

“Goals give us a target.

“There is a whole industry in goal-setting techniques, but what goal-setting does is give us a target.

“What I've found is most people set goals too small because they know they can achieve them if they do a little bit of work, or keep doing something for a period of time.

“But when I talk to people, engage with people and coach others, it's the people who dream big and truly try to live outside their comfort zone who achieve more goals than others.

“They know they have to do something they've never done before if they want to achieve something they've never accomplished before.

“Living outside your comfort zone is where you can catch a glimpse of your true potential and what you're capable of.

“When you're consciously choosing to do difficult things on a daily basis, you get that reinforcement of, ‘Hey, I can accomplish something big that I've never done before,’ because you're pushing yourself past what you've already done.

“It doesn't have to be a massive goal that no one's ever done before, just something that you have never done before.

“As well as setting the goal, you need to create the processes that you have to do on a daily basis, the systems you want in place, in order to do the things you need to do regularly to help you achieve those goals.

“Build habits. There are a bunch of great books out there these days on how to build habits and systems to do more work on a daily basis.

“Dream big, set your goals bigger than you've ever set before, challenge yourself to choose difficult things to do on a daily basis, and do them regularly by creating systems, processes and habits.

“Do the things you need to do on a daily basis that are going to help you achieve the goals, whether that is one month, three months, six months, or whenever that target or deadline you've set is.”

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Q3. After going through depression, what has helped you rebuild and maintain a healthier mindset?

Luke Tyburski: “That's a great question, especially in these times where the mental health of a lot of people is strained.

“I spent about seven or eight years of my 10-year battle not telling anyone, apart from a therapist that I started to see after about six years.

“It was the biggest mistake of the whole journey: not speaking up, not talking about it.

“The first thing that I did, and that I always encourage others to do, is speak up about your feelings, what you're thinking and what you're going through.

“You can do this in two separate ways.

“The first way is how I initially did it.

“I was ashamed, confused and didn't really know what was going on.

“To go and talk to a loved one, a friend or someone who knew me was way too scary.

“So, I went and spoke to a stranger, a therapist, who didn't know me. I could tell them as much or as little as I wanted.

“I still felt like I was in control, but I was telling them how I felt and what I was thinking. This helped immensely.

“It was about speaking up and sharing those thoughts and feelings with someone else.

“If you think speaking to a stranger is scary and not something you want to do, find someone you trust, you love, and that you know cares for you.

“Tell them, “This is what I'm thinking. This is what I'm feeling.”

“If that person, individual or group of people truly care for you, and you trust them, and they trust you, they will open their arms up and do whatever they can to help you.

“That's what I found when I started opening up to my parents, friends and family.

“I thought I was going to be a burden, but it was the complete opposite.

“They opened their arms up and wanted to do whatever they could to help me.”

This exclusive interview with Luke Tyburski was conducted by Tabish Ali of the Motivational Speakers Agency.

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